denisey writes it down

So, I’ve been at the point where I don’t really want to simply blog about my weight loss. Or health. Well, not exclusively anyhow. I originally wanted to be able to blog on my website but honestly, I don’t think I feel comfortable with using it in a diary type way. Too many people know the site and it’s too easy for people to get their feelings hurt. It’s annoying to me. Then again, what is it saying about me that I want to remain anonymous? It’s not very straight forward of me even though I pride myself in being that. I guess it’s a conundrum, eh? So, to continue… I’ve been busy. Haven’t lost a lot of weight in the past two months (gosh, I need to update that sidebar!) but I have been losing inches. I’m trying to focus on that versus the pounds themselves. The sad reality though is that the USCG doesn’t give a flip about my inches lost. I need to fit into their weight limits no matter what. I’ll get there. I just don’t want to drop weight too quickly and then gain it all back. Seems a bit fruitless then, right?

In other news, it is currently 2:30 AM and I am wearing this robe thing that is incredibly itchy. I also have to be at a four hour training class in seven hours. Oh, and it’s for a job that I hate and won’t be keeping. How do I know this? Oh, easy! My younger son is having a surgery in September and they won’t give me nor my husband the time off for it. We can only have the day off if we find people to cover our shifts. Uh, yeah. Right. I’m totally going to ditch this job for one that will allow me time off for something important like this. I mean, it’s not like I’m sitting there heading off to some fantastic party. It’s amazing that there are still companies out there that can behave this way. I know it’s a horrible economy out there, but I don’t think that gives any company the right to tell parents to choose between a surgery for their child and their job. Because make no mistake, I will not be at work instead of his surgery. It just ain’t gonna happen. And make no mistake that if I don’t quit, they’ll be firing me for it. It’s ok in the end. I don’t want to work for a company that treats me so horrible. It’s not right and I wouldn’t do it to my employees (if I had any, that is). It’s crap and that’s exactly how I feel. Lucky for them that I’m not going to mention them by name because I’m just not that evil. Maybe some day I will be, but not today.

Oh, and this whole USCG makes me cry. At this point, even when I do meet the physical side of it, I can’t seem to make headway on the financial side. I know why they do it. I just wish I had a solution to make it work like they want. Maybe it’ll all work out. I might have a Fairy Godmother hiding out somewhere waiting to meet me and sprinkle some Fairy Dust on me! In the meantime… I’ll be over here exercising & looking for a replacement job. Anyone want to hire a hardworking administrative assistant?

mood: tired but not sleepy
listening to: Troubadour by George Strait

I’m visiting a town where I used to live and there’s someone that I needed to give something to.  He’s not really my friend, he’s really my husband’s friend.  However, I was tasked with giving him this one item, so I was out to get it done.  On Thursday, I happen to be going by his apt multiple times through the day, so I called multiple times to see if he was around.  The first time was at 11 am.  No answer, so I leave a message.  I’m thinking that he’ll likely not call me back because he probably won’t even listen to his messages.  Seems like most guys I know don’t listen to theirs in a timely manner.  Heck, come to think of it, I have a hard time listening to *mine* in a timely manner unless it’s left on my cell.  Ad that’s only because my cell beeps at me until I listen.  But I digress.  Anyhow, around 2pm, I call again as I’m driving by the intersection he lives near. No answer again but this time, I don’t bother leaving a message.  Then I call back at 4pm & 7pm, both times are as I’m going by the intersection.  Why am I going by this intersection so many times?  Because I’m cleaning someone’s house out and it’s full of stuff.  So, I’ve been making multiple runs to the dump and their storage unit.

At this point, I’m just like, ok…  Guess he’s not going to be around at his house at all today/tonight.  So, I drop it until Friday.  Now on Friday, I don’t even bother calling him.  I simply ask his best friend to confirm his address and let him know that I will be dropping said item off at the office of his apt complex.  It’s really going to be a pain for me to make my errands around when he’ll be home, so I thought, this could be the perfect solution.  So I leave it, with a post-it note and call the husband with the great news that his package has been delivered.  Except the husband tells me that his friend has something that’s supposed to be returned to my husband.  I guess it was an exchange and no one remembered to tell me.  So I call the guy up and of course, he again doesn’t answer.  So I’m like, hey, sorry to bother you, I was hoping to pick up the thing for the husband, please call me and let me know when’s a good time.  I am slightly dejected.  But it has nothing to do with the guy and everything to do with disappointing the husband.  That’s at 3pm.

Fast forward to 8pm Friday night.  I find out that I might be on the opposite end of town for the remainder of my stay.  Shit!  So, I figure that I’ll take the high road, send the guy’s best friend a text asking if it would be possible to come by Friday evening and pick up the package.  No response.  For real, the amount of “no response” I was getting was unbelievable.  Even if I dislike someone, or they’re annoying me, or whatever, I give them the dignity of responding.  I think it’s simply a common courtesy type of thing.  The husband contacts his friend in a game the mutually play and his friend says that he’d rather mail the package to my husband instead of me picking it up.  At this point, I’m amazed and hurt.  My husband can get a response but I can’t?  And all I’m doing is trying to get a package delivered and a package picked up.  Unpossible!

So, I go around feeling like the gum on the bottom of someone’s shoe for a while.  The rest of the evening, as a matter of fact.  But, I decide that it’s not something worth persuing beyond a simple text to the guy who is being the jerk.  My text went something like “You know, I’ve never been made to feel so worthless my entire life. Thanks for that and have a nice life.”  Did I mention that the husband tells me just after he talks to the guy that the number I have wasn’t for his house but was his cell?  Yeah, that would have been handy to know in the beginning…

So, I call it a day, delete the numbers and addresses out of my phone since they weren’t of any further use to me.  The this morning at 7am, I get the following text: First off, the reason I didn’t call u back was well. Weird.  But I figure there’s more coming, so I just hang back and wait.  At 7:10, I get:  A) calling me four times in one day… After the fact of one i was not home all day and two i didn’t have my phone with me is HELLO!  Is a little much.  B)  after getting ur so called “message of guilt” i now know what ur true intentions were.  So back at ya have a nice life. Interesting.  So, I responded with:  I didn’t leave a message of guilt, I had just argued with X. I don’t have a clue what my “true intentions” were other than “shit, X’s not happy with me”.  As for calling, I was literally driving past your apt every time I called b/c of my friends & where their storage unit is.  I didn’t think it would hurt to call.

I don’t understand people.  Although if this has been a girl, at least I could blame it on her being a stupid female.  It’s just dumb.  Some days, it doesn’t pay to talk to people.

I was going to be dumb and play the “I have a dream” card, but honestly, that phrase gets a little overused as is.  But I digress.  I’m a thirty year old girl who’s trying to get into the US Coast Guard.  Yeah.  At thirty.  The only people who know are my husband and my cousin (she’s one of my oldest friends).  I haven’t told any one else.  Bet you’re wondering why?  Well, maybe you aren’t, but I’m going to tell you any how.    I don’t think that everyone in my world would be that supportive.  Most don’t know that I wanted to join the military since I was younger but didn’t for a variety of reasons.  But I’m ready and mature and the older I get, the more I think that I probably made a mistake not joining up at 19.  But we can’t live in the past and I love my life as it’s come along.